New York, NY

A Visit to Manhattan

My husband and I traveled to New York City today. It was a good day to leave Jackson, WY as snow was expected this afternoon.

Landing at La Guardia Airport we were treated to a perfect view of Manhattan in the afternoon light. Outside the airport, mild weather greeted us and our taxi driver whisked us to midtown.

There are always too many things to do in New York: museums, shows, concerts, shopping, running in Central Park and people watching! We stay in midtown and I love the proximity of everything and the ability to take a quick subway ride to get wherever I want to go.

I've saved the Fall Preview Issue of The New Yorker magazine with its great reviews of what is happening in Theatre, Music, etc.

I enjoy the ability to travel like this -- a definite bonus for the empty nester!

When Your Child is Sad

Even though the nest is empty, you are still a parent and sometimes it is very hard to stand at a distance as your child goes through some of the more difficult aspects of learning to be more independent. I think the hardest time for me was when our oldest child S reluctantly left home (we were living in Bermuda at the time) to attend a boarding school in CT.

She was incredibly homesick. Frequent phone calls from her inevitably ended with her in tears and sounding desparately unhappy. Her house director and advisor both reported that they would see her around the school campus smiling and chatting with friends, but my experience with her was completely different. It is hard to describe how unhappy she was and how difficult it was for me. I questioned whether it was the right thing for her to go away to school. I questioned whether this was the right school for her. When the phone rang and the caller ID showed her name, I girded myself for the oncoming conversation.

As a mother I was torn between wanting to listen andsympathize with her and hiding far away where I couldn’t hear the phone ring!

This all happened about 6 years ago. In the end, she loved her school and was elected to a leadership position for her senior year and is a strong supporter of her school. Now, she has even apologized to me for the torment of her freshman year and her sobbing phone calls home.

I guess the point of this post is to offer sympathy to those of you dealing with homesick children. Going away is hard on them and it affects you too.

All the Best,

Trish

Where to Go?

So, dear readers, for the last 15 years our vacations have centered around the all-important School Calendar. In the time before kids we enjoyed a couple of lovely trips to Europe in September and last-minute ski vacations to Colorado in April just because the snow was good.

In the years since our oldest started real school we have managed a couple of kid-free adventures, notably a trip to Italy and weekends in New York. Those required intensive planning and coordinating care of the children. The time we went to Italy I think I left my parents12 pages of instructions on child care, routines and activities.

For family vacations and get togethers, our calendar issues continue to be complex and time-consuming with various spring break and Christmas holiday calendars.

But now I am free to think about other possibilities. We can consider vacations during the school year! What I would really like to do is go on a biking holiday in Asia. I have never been to Asia and would love to visit Thailand, Vietnam, Bhutan, Singapore, etc. It seems like a biking holiday is just the thing to combine exercise with a chance to feel like I could get to know the country.

Somebody out there must have been on this kind of a holiday before, right? I would love to hear your suggestions and ideas.

The Health Care Debate

Well, I am not a health care policy wonk, nor do I ever expect to become one. However, I have to say I am unhappy with the current health care reform debate.

My family is relatively healthy, and yet, with 3 kids in 3 different schools and a variety of health care providers, I think I spend too much time getting bills from providers (before they have been submitted to insurance) ignoring them because I know insurance will pay something, reading EOBs from insurers and then getting a second bill from the health care provider with the amount I really owe to them. Added to this is our (fairly) recent experience of moving. Have you ever moved and had to get your health care records (from every doctor you have ever seen) to new providers? It is harder than you might think.

It is possible to have a more streamlined system and I have just finished reading The Healing of America by T. R. Reid. In the book, he takes his sore shoulder for medical care in a variety of countries and talks about the differences in approach and treatment.

Highlights for me:

• There is a country where you carry a smart card with you to the doctor’s office and it shows the doctor all your health information including previous diagnoses, prescription drug information etc. (France)

• There is a country where the average person visits the doctor twice as often as the average person in the USA, visits to specialists are frequent and waiting times are minimal (many patients just drop in the day they want to see a specialist). They are huge consumers of medical care and yet they have universal coverage and still manage to spend less per capita than the USA. (Japan)

It is a fascinating read and helps change the conversation about health care. His argument that access to health care is a basic right rings true to me. He compares it to public education. If you want more than the public schools offer, and you can afford it, you choose a private school. But at least every kid should have a school to attend.

I highly recommend it. We can learn a lot about health care from other wealthy democracies.

All the Best,

Trish

Exercise your Brain!

With extra time available the last few years I have taken some classes. You can take a class to pursue an interest, learn a new skill or make new friends. Two years ago I thought I would unleash my creative side and I signed up for a Ceramics class at the local Center for the Arts. The Center offers a variety of classes for adults including digital photography, painting, and ceramics. I had a good time working with the clay but my end results were so disappointing (misshapen mugs, imperfect platters and bowls that exploded in the kiln), I just couldn’t get myself to return for another class.

My most successful attempts at ongoing education have come through online classes. I took a fascinating History of the American West course through Stanford University. I also enjoyed a Great Works of Western Literature course offered through “The Great Courses” Their catalog is expansive and offers choices in a wide range of subjects. Courses are expensive but are produced well with good corresponding materials (reading supplements and DVDs) Great Courses send catalogs and e-mails on a regular basis and it seems like each of the courses is available ‘on-sale’ at least once during the year. So, if you see something you like but you don’t like the price, wait for a while and it just might go on sale.

This month, for example, you can order “Understanding the Universe” (list price $799.95) for $229.95 and it offers you 96 lectures (30 minutes each). It is not as entertaining as watching Family Guy or Dancing with the Stars, but it is arguably a better way to spend time in front of the television. And many of the classes don’t require the DVD – you can listen to the lectures from a CD or from your iPod.

I am thinking of taking “The American Civil War” but I am kind of busy with my new blogging course…

All the best,

Trish

Get Out There

I am still learning to take advantage of having less structure in my life. If my son were at home, I would have spent this past weekend at the soccer field, cheering him on and managing his travel soccer team. That seemed to occupy a lot of my time last year.

Yesterday, my husband and I decided to join some friends for a big hike. It was the last day of the summer season for the Tram to operate at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort. In celebration, we met at the base of the mountain and hiked up the Granite Canyon trail to the top of the tram. In all, the hike was about 12.5 miles – mostly uphill! We reached the top of Rendezvous Mountain in a little over 6 hours.

Our intrepid group leader, Craig, loves to hike and plans a variety of great excursions in and around Jackson Hole, inviting a host of people to join him so you never know who will show up. Yesterday there were 8 of us hiking. I was in awe of one energetic couple we met – he is almost 74 and she is about 70 and they had been to the top of the Tram 15 times this summer! What an inspiration.

Yesterday was a good reminder that the empty nest offers unexpected treats as well as some newly found flexibility. I guess that is the plus side of feeling ‘untethered’. So, get out and do something you like and enjoy it!

All the Best,

Trish