When Your Child is Sad

Even though the nest is empty, you are still a parent and sometimes it is very hard to stand at a distance as your child goes through some of the more difficult aspects of learning to be more independent. I think the hardest time for me was when our oldest child S reluctantly left home (we were living in Bermuda at the time) to attend a boarding school in CT.

She was incredibly homesick. Frequent phone calls from her inevitably ended with her in tears and sounding desparately unhappy. Her house director and advisor both reported that they would see her around the school campus smiling and chatting with friends, but my experience with her was completely different. It is hard to describe how unhappy she was and how difficult it was for me. I questioned whether it was the right thing for her to go away to school. I questioned whether this was the right school for her. When the phone rang and the caller ID showed her name, I girded myself for the oncoming conversation.

As a mother I was torn between wanting to listen andsympathize with her and hiding far away where I couldn’t hear the phone ring!

This all happened about 6 years ago. In the end, she loved her school and was elected to a leadership position for her senior year and is a strong supporter of her school. Now, she has even apologized to me for the torment of her freshman year and her sobbing phone calls home.

I guess the point of this post is to offer sympathy to those of you dealing with homesick children. Going away is hard on them and it affects you too.

All the Best,

Trish